The Greatest Stage

Claudia: Alright, emergency group meeting.

Ivan: So formal.

Sergio: Are there minutes and coffee?

Andres: I’d prefer beer.

Claudia: We need to decide: what’ll be the best stage of this Tour?

Ivan: The one where everyone crashes except my favorite.

Sergio: The one that ends in flames. Literally.

Andres: That already happened yesterday with my stomach.

Claudia: Wasn’t talking about *your* stage.

Ivan: Look, Tourmalet’s gonna be brutal this year.

Sergio: Pavé. Because I love watching billionaires suffer.

Andres: Mont Ventoux. For pure collective trauma.

Claudia: Can we pick *one*?

Ivan: Why not all of them?

Sergio: Tour ‘best of’ edition.

Andres: Frankenstein stage: pavé, mountains, time trial, and artistic cycling.

Claudia: That doesn’t exist.

Ivan: Yet.

Sergio: They could do a mixed stage with bikes and kayaks.

Andres: And a horseback segment.

Claudia: Please stop.

Ivan: It’s called medieval triathlon.

Sergio: I’m betting on the Pyrenees stage.

Andres: That’s for live abandonments.

Claudia: Something reasonable, please.