Gearing Up for the Tour de France

Meredith: The Tour de France starts today, you degenerates. Remember: pub at 11.

Charles: FINALLY. The real World Cup of beer.

Tom: I’m skipping my shower today to channel that authentic peloton stench.

Roger: Perfect, like a desert stage vibe.

Meredith: Can we at least pretend to have standards?

Charles: Tell that to ESPN’s commentary team.

Tom: LMAOOOO , jijiji

Roger: We’re starting strong.

Meredith: Okay, serious predictions?

Charles: Vingegaard wins, juiced to the gills.

Tom: Pogacar attacks while still on the team bus.

Roger: Bora gets lost and ends up in Switzerland. 🤦

Charles: You realize this route has more twists than my love life?

Tom: Well, it is France.

Roger: France is literally a croissant.

Meredith: Focus, people.

Charles: On what?

Tom: On doping scandals.

Roger: I propose mandatory doping for all.

Meredith: NO.

Charles: Level playing field!

Tom: Like the Spanish league but with steroids.

Roger: Bonus points for creative doping methods.

Meredith: I’m begging you.

Charles: I can see it now: ‘Award for most absurd finish-line celebration.’